OUTRAGE can be the only correct word to use at D Payne wishing us a Happy Christmas in March.

Has it escaped his/her notice that we are in March and therefore only four weeks away from Easter, and that Christmas is almost three months behind us?

It is quite bad enough having the shops getting their Christmas tat out in August. Unbelievably I couldn’t buy basic garden equipment at one store in November, as the whole place was decked out like some giant supermarket of tat, and they had put the garden equipment away for the year.

D Payne is wishing us a Happy Christmas at a time of year when we are enjoying the first signs of spring with bunnies running riot, daffodils in full flower, and the ancient regime of the National Trust just about to wake up their properties to deign to grant us entry once again. No no, D Payne!

As Ogden Nash said: Spring is sprung, the grass is ris, I wonder where dem boidies is?

Some say the boid is on the wing, but that’s absoid, cos the wing is on the boid.

Everything in its place, everything in its place.

Roger Clarke Knutsford