FORGET the fight for the keys to Number Ten, there is a more ruthless battle raging.

One that never stops. One that’s a fight to the death.

Literally.

What am I talking about?

This week, Gertrude Weaver, from Arkansas in the United States, died at the age of 116.

She was the oldest person in the world. A title she’d held for all of six days.

She’d inherited it the previous Wednesday, following the death of 117-year-old Misao Okawa in Japan.

According to press reports she revelled in her new-found fame as Earth’s longest-surviving (at that point) resident during the last week of her life.

Now the title has passed to Jeralean Talley, of Detroit, who has officially been deemed the world’s oldest person by the Gerontology Research Group.

She was born on May 23, 1899, and will turn 116 next month. They better have a fire extinguisher on hand for the candles on that birthday cake.

From my vantage point (and I’m sure from yours too, unless you were born in the late 19th century) it’s impossible to imagine how it must feel to have lived in three separate centuries. What’s even more incredible is the zest for life one must possess to still be around after all that time.

Watching from the sidelines, I’ve made a few observations.

I will share them with you so that, in the event you decide at some point to pursue the title of ‘world’s oldest person’, you will be prepared.

First, you need to know that the title is a poisoned chalice. As soon as you are crowned a clock somewhere begins to tick loudly. It literally is just a matter of time before you are unseated.

Just as an Oscar winner feels the eyes of unsuccessful nominees burning into them as they step on stage to collect their statuette, so too the world’s oldest person feels the tingle of younger pretenders’ eyes boring into them.

The incumbent of the ‘world’s oldest...’ throne momentarily sees the words ‘would you jump in my grave as quick?’ flash through their mind.

Second, the odds are stacked against you ever being a long-serving ‘world’s oldest person’. A few years back, Jeanne Calment, died at the age of 122 years and 164 days. She had a fair crack of the whip, with the only other contenders a good many years younger. But she was exceptional. So the best advice is, like Gertrude Weaver, enjoy the fame while it lasts – it isn’t likely to be long.

Third, many of the world’s oldest living people seem to come from Japan.

It does make you wonder what the secret is. It must be something to do with the Japanese diet. Clearly the staples of Japanese food – fish (as opposed to red meat), rice, soybeans, seaweed, tea, a reduced dairy intake and smaller portions – must have something to do with it.

Food for thought.