THE Knutsfordian doffs his cap to Mr Jonathan Farber and his excellent letter about the May Day Committee and its dreadfully outdated method of selecting our Royal May Queen.

Knutsfordians have muttered darkly about the process of choosing not only the Queen, but the court, the characters, etcetera for many, many years.

Bravo Mr Farber for putting keyboard to email to point out the selection process is in a time warp.

The Knutsfordian suspects the process has remained similar for the past 150 years.

In the words of the song, The Knutsfordian believes the children are our future.

Teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside. Give them a sense of pride to make it easier.

Words the May Day committee should consider for the next 150 years of our town’s glorious Royal May Day.

On to matters less regal.

On Friday, The Knutsfordian’s post-prandial nap was rudely interrupted by a loud ringing of the doorbell.

As Matthew the butler was having another day off (The Knutsfordian reluctantly follows the EU Working Time Directive), The Knutsfordian pulled himself up from his designer day bed (reupholstered by Aunty Mabel’s Seat) and limped to the front door.

Alas, The Knutsfordian was not fast enough. The hip he shoots from has become increasingly arthritic, and all he found laying on the doormat was a card from Royal Mail saying ‘something for you’.

Another missed delivery.

The Knutsfordian knows he is not alone in experiencing frustration when one is simply not fast enough getting to the front door.

Once upon a time, when one missed delivery of a packet, Knutsfordians would make a phone call to the delivery office and, often, the packet would be re-delivered by second post.

Can it be that it was all so simple then? Or has time rewritten every line? The last post for second post has long been played.

The easy phone call to the Knutsford delivery office has been replaced by an 0845 number answered who knows where.

The Knutsfordian last arranged a redelivery via the Royal Mail website and had to wait two days. Progress or slowgress?

PS The Knutsfordian has been casting his eye over the recent comments from the public over the BeWILDerwood planning application.

He is particularly amused by the Ashworth Park residents who refer to the development as BeWilderMent throughout. Rumours that The Knutsfordian will be attending the strategic planning meeting on Wednesday, March 5, dressed as a Boggle are unfounded.

PPS The Artisan Market is back on Princess Street on Sunday.

The Knutsfordian would like to hear your views on the planned switch to King Street for the June market.