New Guardian columnist Vic Barlow talks about the top topics of the Good morning Wilmslow. How are we all? Seems like ages since we had a natter.

A lot of changes have taken place since then.

America got Donald Trump (or Ronald McDonald as I think of him) and the Scots got Nicola Sturgeon. I’m not sure which country came off worse.

Cheshire East appear determined to dig up the greenbelt under the guise of ‘affordable homes’ while delivering houses that are anything but.

Developers will do very well out of the unaffordable ones, thank you very much, whilst families, desperate to get on the housing ladder, will be farther away than ever. Good job Cheshire East Council.

While we are on the subject what happened to ex council leader Michael Jones?

Having held council tax down for five years he was barely out of the door before they whacked it up five per cent.

The council constantly pleads poverty over adult social care but every officer they lay off seems to pocket enough cash to pay a dozen carers and every recruit to the senior ranks receives a fixed term contract (nice work if you can get it).

Are CEC genuinely short of funds or not? Tell me what you think.

Here’s something you might be able to help me with.

I became the proud owner of a new knee at the end of October.

It’s behaving itself quite well but when I put my sock on my foot is facing the wrong way.

I need it to point inward while it prefers outwards. I’ve tried humouring it but it’s not having any.

Any suggestions you have, as indeed any good stories you want to tell me, will be greatly appreciated.

A PERSON OF INTEREST IN OUR ENQUIRIES

I HAD no idea of the political persuasion of Cheshire Police and Crime Commissioner David Keane and frankly, I didn’t care.

I trusted him and when he told us funds at Cheshire Police were in such a dire state we needed to increase the police precept by two per cent or risk losing 26 officers I paid it gladly.

I might have had second thoughts had I known his first act after gaining our trust would be to offer £50K to Sareda Dirir, a long-term political associate, to act as his deputy.

The interview panel were clearly unimpressed by Ms Dirir, which they described as meeting ‘the minimum standard for the role’.

Hardly a ringing endorsement.

Nevertheless they ratified the appointment.

Work that one out.

Had Commissioner Keane shown the merest concern I might have been mollified but no sooner had he thrown £50,000 plus National Insurance plus pension at Ms Dirir he made plans to spend another £80,000 plus (of our money) on a chief of staff.

Now you may consider the only place for the Police and Crime Commissioner is to be based at police HQ where he would have instant access to his officers and staff and they to him. You would be wrong.

Commissioner Keane upped sticks from Winsford HQ and moved to Stockton Heath police station nearer to his home, which he did apparently ‘to save taxpayers money.’ (This man has the sensitivity of a rubber cosh.) I have absolutely no idea who monitors Mr Keane, but I believe whoever it is should be prosecuted for dereliction of duty.

I have but one remaining question for Commissioner Keane: Any chance we could have our two per cent back?

TATTON CONSERVATIVES ARE IN LA-LA LAND

How is it possible for 192,000 residents to sign a petition asking George Osborne to relinquish his outside interests or resign and for it to make no impact whatsoever on the local party?

Are they living in a parallel universe?

Do they not recognise the obvious conflict of having an MP who answers to several different masters?

You cannot edit a daily newspaper, act for a major American investment company or attend a US College all in your spare time.

It’s just not possible.

Yes, of course George managed to be an MP while he was Chancellor he had but one (sympathetic) employer.

He now has four all pulling in different directions.

Do you think the directors of a giant American investment company will regard the welfare of Wilmslow as a priority?

What’s George going to tell his Russian newspaper boss Evgeny Lebedev when he demands George’s attendance?

“Sorry, Mr Lebedev, I’m prioritising potholes in Peover this week.”

If they think George has time to look after his constituents Tatton Conservatives are in La-La Land.

Of course, I expect to be excoriated by them for expressing this view. They are nothing if not zealous in defence of their leader (or star-struck).

They may be fervent upholders of the faith but thousands of others are not.

Should the non-believers decide to support an Independent candidate less distracted by his or her own ambition Tatton Conservatives may live to regret their misplaced loyalty.

Maybe it’s time for the white suit to make a comeback? Let’s face it any suits better than an empty one. Tatton voters deserve better than that.

Email Vic at vicbarlow@icloud.com