Danniella Westbrook has spoken about her heartbreak at suffering a miscarriage and revealed she is determined to get pregnant again.
The 40-year-old actress - who has two children aged 17 and 12 from previous relationships - told OK! magazine she is trying to hold it together for the sake of her kids and her 24-year-old fiance Tom Richards.
Danniella, who split from husband Kevin Jenkins in January, said: "My kids look to me for a reaction - if I start to fall apart, they fall apart.
"But I woke up the other morning and it broke my heart - I'm absolutely shattered."
She added: "I'm a parent already, Tom wants to be a parent and it was his first child. But it's upsetting for all of us. My kids were devastated, especially my little girl.
"She was home with me - I had to say, 'I've got to go to hospital, I'm not feeling well.' Afterwards I tried to explain it to her in a way that she doesn't feel she's mourning a big death."
Danniella admitted: "It was a shock because I wasn't feeling poorly or anything. I didn't want to go to hospital because I didn't want to believe it was happening... there was no pain."
The former EastEnders star revealed the miscarriage was related to complications she suffered from a C-section she underwent when having her daughter.
Danniella, who in the past has spoken openly about her battle with cocaine addiction and bipolar disorder, confessed: "I drank and took drugs when I was pregnant with my son Kai, the same with my daughter until three and a half months. This time I was totally clean from day one."
The actress said she and Tom planned to start trying for another baby: "Straight away - as soon as they say to me, 'You're OK.'"
She added: "I don't regret a single thing. I'm just glad I know I can get pregnant, and that we've got the help to make sure I'm carrying the right way."
The couple are planning to have an intimate wedding in the UK.
Danniella said of the age gap between her and Tom: "If it's good enough for Barbara Windsor, it's good enough for me!"