Think your Friday the 13th is going badly? It could be a lot worse.

London Fire Brigade have released their top 13 most embarrassing reasons the capital's residents have called 999.

1. A woman rang to get help for her husband who was locked in a titanium chastity belt.

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2. Firefighters helped cut two rings from a man's penis - they'd been there for three days.

For more on this and LFB's stark warning to anyone tempted to reenact the new Fifty Shades of Grey film click here.

3. Firefighters helped release a man whose penis had got stuck in a plastic bottle.

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Ouch!

4. A man was forced to call 999 after his penis got stuck in a vacuum cleaner.

5. Firefighters freed a grown man who had got stuck in a swing - and his friend who was stuck under a roundabout.

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6. Crews were called to free a man who had a bike lock trapped around his torso.

7. A woman called the fire brigade after getting her hand trapped in the ash tray of her car.

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Not a great place to get stuck

8. Crews freed another teenager who got themselves stuck in a swing.

9. One woman called the fire brigade in a panic after getting her hand stuck ... in the settee.

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Help!

10. One truly embarrassing dad was freed from his child's toy car after he became wedged in.

11. Firefighters helped rescue a man who had fallen behind a toilet and become stuck.

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12. A man called for assistance after a bike chain got stuck around his waist.

And in at number 13... possibly the most unlucky of all: A man was assisted by fire fighters after his penis got stuck in a toaster.

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'Don't put that there!'

Lesson for the day readers, if something looks too small, you'll probably get stuck and if you're tempted to put your penis in a toaster, bottle or vacuum cleaner ... don't.